• Are you crazy?
I don’t think so, but maybe. I guess we’ll see.
• What inspired you to do this dating project?
I came across a blog of another gal who did a similar dating project, http://31datesin31days.com/. In this blog, Tamara decided to go on 31 dates in 31 days and she blogged about the whole thing. I thought that sounded fun and only slightly crazy. Tamara had so much fun with her adventure! She met some amazing guys - and she actually married one. Now Tamara is coming out with a book based on her experiences. So I emailed Tamara to get her thoughts on the whole project and to see if she would let me use her idea. Of course she said yes! She's great like that! Since then, I’ve read a couple of other blogs of women who have done similar projects. http://funwith31.wordpress.com/ and http://www.themormonbachelor.com/
It just looks like so much fun! How could I not do this project?
• What is your type?
There are qualities I know I want in a guy I will potentially date, but I don’t necessarily have a specific type. I think the most important thing is that I would like to date someone I can be myself around.
• What are those qualities?
Strong testimony. I can’t even tell you how important this is for me. I have been in relationships in the past where I felt like I had to “carry” the testimony for the both of us. Not only is that completely backwards thinking, but it’s actually impossible. The best relationship I had was with someone who had a strong testimony and wasn’t afraid to share it. We were able to talk about our testimonies openly and in turn, that openness made both of our testimonies much, much stronger. So yes, extremely important.
Kind. Often times, kind people are also selfless, giving and honest. Who wouldn’t want those things in a significant other? I have definitely dated some guys who were not kind to me – not fun.
Ambitious. There is nothing more attractive than someone who knows what they want and are willing to work hard to get it.
Easy going. I’m the kind of person who likes to make plans. Go ahead and ask my friends about the travel folders. But everything doesn’t always go according to plan. I need someone who can just go with the flow and improvise when necessary.
Committed. I have never had a problem with commitment and it actually kind of baffles me as to why it would be a problem for so many people. I feel like there are several different levels of commitment and most people who struggle with commitment are confused about which level they are on. I recently dated a guy who got completely freaked out because after 3 dates he thought I wanted a “commitment”. My thinking – it had only been 3 dates, I knew I liked him, I was committed to getting to know him better but that was it. I wasn’t ready for the next level of commitment yet. I was just open to the idea of moving toward that level. Oh gosh – I hope this makes sense.
Athletic. Sports are fun.
• Would you go out with someone who has been divorced?
Yes. The real question would be – would I continue dating someone who has been divorced. The answer to that is – it depends on how they treat their ex-wife. I’ve never been married, so I’ve never been divorced, but I feel like there is no reason why you can't be civil or even kind to the person you once loved. Hatred and revenge make for a very long, unhappy life and I want nothing to do with that. I just want forgiveness and love and everyone to be happy. I don’t ever plan on getting divorced. Who does? But I know that some things are out of your control. If I were put in the situation where I was forced to end a marriage, I would hope I could forgive and be kind to that person I married.
• How do you feel about kissing on the first date?
I’m fine with kissing on the first date. I’ve only done it once before but I liked it. Kissing is fun.
I recently had a conversation with my boss about this very subject. (Not weird – I’m very good friends with my boss.) I loved what he had to say: “Kissing should come from your truest self and should show your date appreciation and affection, whether it’s the first date or the 20th. Kissing should not come from the ‘natural man’ side of you and is not obligatory or competitive.” I thought that was great.
• Who will pick the guys?
I expect that everyone who signs up will get picked for a date. If, by some miracle, more than 25 guys sign up for this little dating project, I have a group of friends who are very excited to help me pick the dates.
• Where can I sign up?
Go to the Sign-Up section of this blog and follow the instructions. And thank you for your interest.
• Can the guys contact you during the 30 days?
Heck yes! I won’t be able to see them more than once during the “first date” stage, but I would love to get a text or an email or even a phone call. I think that would just be great!
• Won’t you be exhausted?
Most likely. I’m hoping that I can arrange the schedule to still include my Sunday naps. That would be ideal.
• Who will plan and pay for the dates?
One of the questions the guys must answer when they sign up is: “Would you like to plan/pay for the date or would like Bek to plan/pay for the date?” I am perfectly fine with either answer, but I’m not going to lie, I find it extremely attractive when a guy is willing to plan a date. I don’t care if the date costs $5 or $50, the effort is flattering and nice.
• Why are you doing this?
Because I’m turning 30 this year and I wanted to do something a little crazy before my birthday. Plus – I think it will be fun!!!
• What is your age range?
I think 26-36 is a good age range. But in the last year, I’ve gone out with a couple of guys who were younger than 26 and I had a great time. So, let’s say it’s a soft age range of 26-36. Deal?
• What is the deadline to sign up?
Assuming I get enough guys to sign up, I would like to start putting together a schedule by February 21, 2011. If we don’t have enough guys by then, I’ll just have to go with it and try to fill in dates where I can.
• Do you expect to be engaged by the end of the 30 days?
No. That’s crazy! This is not the TV show The Bachelorette. I would, however, like to start dating someone. Hopefully it will be one of the 25 guys.
